Wednesday, September 6, 2017


Let me tell you about this fish.

Four years ago (maybe it was 3, but that doesn't seem right, either), just after we moved back from Maine, Cary had the urge to get a pet fish. So, we went to a local pet store and bought the bowl, rocks, food, and a Beta. We named him David Schwimmer.

B's daycare was having their end-of-summer carnival the week after we got Schwimmer, and when I picked her up that afternoon, B was so excited. She wanted to show me her pet fish, and ran over to grab a plastic sandwich bag. Already the poor fish had such little water to swim around in, but even more so, she was pinching the bag to try to stop the poor fish from moving around. I could tell that he was already traumatized, and I don't blame him. He was millimeters away from being squished to death by a 3 or 4 year old...try explaining that to her if it happened. So, immediately, I took the poor fish away and texted Cary to go back to the petstore and get another tank.

I was amazed that Fisheroni not only survived, but he has thrived. 3 (4?) years later, he's beautiful and big. His tail is amazingly big, and the best part, he's not as afraid of us when we go to feed him and even socializes a little (until he gets his food. Then we are nothing to him). Unfortunately after losing Chester earlier this year, he is our only pet, and I'm shocked that he still looks so good when I've heard that fish typically don't live too long.

It's my goal to get him to such an age that we have to give him a small cane to help him get around.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

I Can See What The Future Holds, And It Looks So Familiar

On Sunday, b had a playdate. I didn't take any pictures to make it 'official', but I really feel like I need to write it down because it left a very odd feeling for me.

It was a first for me as a mom, and it's sad to say that it will only get worse from here.

So the little girl b had the playdate with has left me with many mixed emotions from the beginning. In the beginning, b spoke about 'A' in a wonderful way, but with time, that excitement has died down, and even has left me questioning why B sticks around. Then again, she is only 7 and still has so much to learn.

''A' doesn't believe in God.' Okay. We can work with this. As a Christian, it's not a requirement to have only Christian friends. She already has some, and maybe 'A' will see something in B and want to join her for church one day.

''A' is bossy to me.' Again, this can be worked through, and maybe B can learn from it. I find myself always asking her if maybe she could be acting bossy herself.

But when you are listening to her prayer at night and she says the words 'help me to not be friends with 'A' anymore', which actually happened on the same day she got the invite to the playdate, you wonder what's happening.

I decided on the playdate because I was very curious about this little girl and her family to see what lessons I could help b learn in this. So we decided to meet up at a local monkey-gym on Sunday after church (and after some form of quiet time so I could mentally prepare)

Instantly, I loved 'A's' stepmom. She was sweet, talkative (but not to the extent that she only talked about herself), and I found out they attend a church we used to attend. But 'A' was a different story. At the door while they checked in, B waited patiently and I watched as 'A' made faces. No big deal. 7 years old, remember? But once they were cleared to go in, 'A' walked right past B... And ignoring her.

I watched as the joy drained from B's face.

There is nothing more devastating than watching your always happy child wonder what they did wrong to deserve that treatment.

The worst part is, it's only just beginning. I remember all too well how my friends in middle school were just that witchy. How joining them to go to the bathroom (because girls always went in groups, remember?) was met with a snide 'we don't need a babysitter'. How one day the 'leader' decided we shouldn't talk to the brainy one of our foursome, and I went along with it. Not because I was a mean girl, but because I thought the leader would do the same to me if I didn't, which, of course, did. But things never were the same again in our foursome, the brainy one smart enough to realize we weren't real friends. I was the next to discover that, unfortunately though, not until a year or two later after becoming her target of many 'pranks'.

I still don't know what to think about 'A'. Trying to see the good in everything, I am trying to rationalize it with everything going on in her life. Divorced parents, new baby coming, two older strep-siblings. Non of which are bad, but everyone handles things differently. Or maybe 'A' is just a spoiled child that will never change, and become the same kind of person my 'bff' was.

And all I can do is stand back and let B make the decisions. I can guide her and hope she'll do what is best for her, but I don't know if I even know what that is.

I'm so grateful for our church and the families that are a part of it. I pray that B will find her true friends through there, and similar places. I know God has something amazing for her, and I have to know that friends like 'A' and mine will only help shape her into what she's meant to be. It is just so hard watching her getting knocked down.

It took an hour for 'A' to try to find B during that playdate, during which time, B had already come to me, ready to go home.

Everyday I tell b to go make friends with someone she sees us lonely. Maybe one day she'll be the one that makes someone's middle school experience better than mine was.

Friday, May 26, 2017

Just A Simple Picture...

That makes me laugh every time I look at it

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Saying Goodbye To A 146 Year Tradition

Last night was the final show of the Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey Circus. 146 years of shows. A tradition for many families, and now, it's gone.

I remember riding an elephant at one of these shows when I was tiny. I remember loving the trapeze artists the most, only to be replaced by the clowns as my favorite several years later.

It's crazy to think that, even though it was a completely minor part, I have a connection to this show. It was around 11 years ago that the Lewisville LAFS clowns, Ashes, Radio, and Petunia, were invited to hang out with the clowns pre-show. Thanks to my awesome boss at the time, I managed to get off of work in time to join them and Chief Carter at the American Airlines Center, where I got to take pictures and watch as 'my' clowns interacted with the professionals.

It was AMAZING. The Circus clowns were playful, kind, name it, they were that for the Lewisville group. I got 'snotted on' by an elephant. I watched in awe as 'Grandpa' remained in character the entire time, moving so slowly it was as if he were racing a snail. After the doors opened, Lewisville helped the Circus clowns with the pre-show entertainment, and then we settled into seats to watch the show.

The next year, Lewisville was invited back again, and this time Cary went to the fun and took photos. Then they opened the opportunity up to the LAFS group in the area. Before the pre-show, clowns from all over the metroplex gathered at the AA Center and participated in a clown college, learning makeup tips, acrobatics, juggling...and most excitedly, just hanging with the big-time guys.

When they were in town for a Fun Run for the American Heart Association, the Lewisville guys were invited out to help entertain the kids. And then there was the Guiness Book Of World Records Biggest Shaving Cream Pie Fight that once again featured the RB&BB clowns...and Lewisville LAFS.



I think you're starting to see my point here. There is a small piece of history in that 146 years that include people that are incredibly significant in my life, and I was a photographer in some of that. 

What an amazing adventure this all was, and I've heard a former Circus clown say, "Smile Because it Happened". Beautiful words to remember.

Thank you, Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey Circus for the wonderful memories.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

The Story of The Fairy Tea Party

Once upon a time, a little fairy decided to go to a Fairy Tea Party out on the lawn. Fascinated, I sat back and watched as they were all handed little cups and saucers, and stories were told. 

The little fairy did a great job, listening and participating, even naming the 'Tooth Fairy' as a type of fairy. Until...

the nymph came by and filled her cup with something and told her to close her eyes and blow... 


Suddenly, the little fairy was covered in the strange, magical dust, and I watched in fear as I wondered how that dust was going to come off...

But little was I prepared for the horror that came next...

The Imp that was sitting next to me acquired some of that magical dust that refused to move off of the little fairy's skin, and with one short blow, I, too, became covered in the pestering dust...never to be the same again.

This meant war! 
When the Imp wasn't prepared, I swiped my swift hand down his face, scarring him with not only the shiny, magical, never-to-come-off dust, but in PINK nonetheless!

We may never have a moment where we don't see a reminder of this gruesome day ever again, but the victory belongs in knowing that none of us walked away unscathed.

Sweet victory.