Is The Grass Really Greener On The Other Side?

Last Wednesday we had a celebration to say 'Bon Voyage' to one of our co-workers who is moving on to bigger and better things: becoming a housewife. Yes: newly married, no kids, and getting to stay at home to clean, socialize, and travel at her leisure. Her husband works for a major airline company, so they will be doing a lot of the travel thing. First on the agenda? An Alaskan cruise.

I found myself incredibly jealous of this lady. Ever since Brylee came into our lives, I have wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Watch every moment of my child learn and grow, keep the apartment clean, have dinner ready when the hubby gets home, go out and spend the day with other stay-at-home moms.

Yeah, right.

In the last 20 weeks I have realized that this is very much a hit-or-miss reality, especially the clean home and dinner ready scenarios. But what an amazing dream, right? Or is it?

Whenever I find myself off in this dream world, I have to remember some very important, specific things, besides the fact that I don't wear dresses, aprons, pearls, and live in the '50s (and just why not?!?!):

• Brylee is doing amazing at daycare. She is socializing and making friends. She is learning how to not be number 1 all the time, to share, and enjoy other's company. Even at 4 months she is learning this, and hopefully will continue that in her growth through her life.


• I would go crazy. During the 8 weeks I was off for maternity leave, I got lazy and even a little cabin fever. Sure, I was also recovering from a major surgery and learning how to be a mom. Now I'm not afraid to put my kid into the carrier and run off to go somewhere just for a change of atmosphere. But what I think about doing and what I actually do can end up being 2 very different things.


• Not to mention, work is currently my social place (which I need to work on). Would I really go to Mommy's Day Out with the church, or would I end up locking myself indoors, not talking to anyone? Conversation is so much easier to have with your husband when there are actually things to talk about besides what was on tv that day...


• We can't afford it. No. Let me rephrase that: we can afford it. Just not live with the comfort of knowing I like to spontaneously buy little things for our little one (and us). Not unless Cary can get a pay increase at his job of at least what I am making now. Anyone willing to do that for us so I can be lazy? Is it worth putting that kind of stress on Cary? (no)


• I am now looking into potentially getting my psychology degree for counselling. My job would help pay for that education. Without this job, it just becomes an added bill.

As much as the stay-at-home life seems to be so appealing to me right now, I have to realize that I would find negatives in it, just as I do with every job I have ever had. I have to remind myself that I am truly blessed to have a job with a steady income, that is 5 minutes from home, a daycare that is just as close to both work and home (that I have to write a bragging post about), a healthy baby and husband (as well as myself and the mutt), a nice roof over our heads, and cars that work.

Maybe someday in the future the watching-my-kids grow opportunity will come to me and I'll know that I can do it right. But until then, I'll have to stare at the greener pastures that lay in front of me, just out of reach.